Monthly Archives: March 2012

Help Wanted

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Help Wanted

Searching for employment should be no laughing matter, however, these days reading ads on various job boards gives me an opportunity to smile and many times fill me with joy!. Today with the internet there are various ways to search for a job. Company websites, job search engines, and then there is Craigslist. There is never a day it has failed to disappoint me, one can find some interesting jobs, and it has been a successful source for me. Back in the day, newspapers had employment listings that consisted of maybe 15 words. The majority of time one would find the company name, a brief description of the job and a phone number, it was straight forward, you knew what you were applying for, today that is not a given. The employment process is about screening a potential company/employers, will you be a fit? Would you want to be a fit! Living in a city with one of the highest unemployment rates in the country, multiple part time jobs become a reality, any job source is welcomed and there are many opportunities to earn money. Living in Sin City brings many opportunities! The following are all jobs I have seen.

This is the job that inspired my blog. “Dog poop scooper job. Long term position. This job entails driving around the entire Las Vegas valley to remove dog waste from clients’ yards. Must be dependable, on-time, and able to work quickly in cold, heat, wind, rain, and holidays…. This job is Monday through Friday and you start at 6am everyday” Where do I begin? Yes it must be a long term position, dogs do poop all the time. OK, I am dependable, and on time. Yes I can work quickly and in the cold. Running fast when it is 110 degrees outside during the summer could be a little more difficult. I can pick up poop in the wind, I have to admit, I have never tried it in the rain, that could prove to be a little more difficult. Holidays! You mean on Christmas day a client would expect me to pick up dog poop? I would be in someones backyard picking up poo, and wondering what they are thinking, and questioning myself why I chose to pick up dog doo while they are inside enjoying a wonderful meal. This job does start out at $10 per hours, and if I “doo” a good job, I would get $11. That is not a bad deal. Now let me see if I am qualified.

Qualifications:

1. You must have your own dependable pick-up truck and valid Nevada drivers license

(I am already disqualified! I guess having a pick up truck would be advisable, since it seems I will be hauling the dog doo! My first question, how come the owner does not want their dogs doo in their trash? My second question, does my potential employer have a trash bin, or am I responsible for disposing of the dog doo? Third question, if I put it in plastic bags, I wonder what it will smell like on a hot day. Fourth question, if I really wanted the job would they require me to have a truck? I am almost tempted to call and ask. )

2. Legally able to work in the U.S.

(Yes, I am a citizen)

3. You must have a cell phone and daily access to email.

(Yes, I have a phone, I am happy to know I will not need an iPad to check my email during the day, as this would be a lot of money to spend for this low paying job)

4. Be able to lift 50 pounds

(They said dog poo! What would I be picking up that requires me to lift 50 lbs!!!)

5. You must speak at least a little English

(Qualified. What if the owners only speak Spanish? Will I need to know a little Spanish? That could be a selling point, I can speak a little Spanish!)

6. You must not be scared of dogs

(What if it is a mean dog? Can I be scared?)

7. Age 50 and over are encouraged to apply if you are a good worker and can work at a fast pace.
(I know more over 50’s who are dependable worker’s and are quicker than their younger counterparts. )

I think you can see why I am amused looking at ads. If you are not amused, please stop reading.

Here is another ad.”Personal assistant on adult video set. Simple, fun part time job with female producer.” OK, it is Sin City! I wonder what one would do being an assistant? No wages listed. There was another position for a Personal Assistant. $20 per hour, now that is a great wage when you need no experience! They will train you! That is more than the accounting position that was offered and you need a Bachelor’s Degree. I just wonder why the potential employer requests a picture. Maybe I will send one when I first wake up in the morning, or maybe the one of me when I was on a camping trip! The camping pic will show that I can work under many conditions and I am a happy person.

This is one way to earn $100! I don’t have to work, and it is legal! I am posting this ad, just as it was written.

I need someone with a valid nevada license and a registered car with insurance.
(OK, I am qualified!)

I have a schedule for a driver’s test at 1130am Saturaday (Saturday is a good day, I am available, I just wish they spelled it correctly. I guess even with spell check they disregard suggestions, but they want to use my car)

I need someone to go with me to DMV and let me use their car for a driver’s Test (You want to use MY car! What if they are a bad driver?)

I would prefer a small to mid size automatic car. (Now they are getting a little picky. Do you want it to be a Mercedes too?)

The car must meet DMV standards such as having a front license plate, no cracked windshield, working lights, blinkers, horn, seat belt, etc.
(Duh, I would hope no one was dumb enough to bring a car to the DMV that is not legal)

Please email me I have a valid nevada permit and no accidents on my record of 10 years of driving.
You have been driving for 10 years without a license and now you want to drive my car!)

my license expired and I have to take the test.
(There was a period after the word driving, so now I am relieved you only let your license expire)
willing to negotiate price if I get no other offers.)

I still have questions about this person. Why don’t they use their own car? Do they not have any friends? They are even willing to pay more money to borrow a car. Maybe I should offer mine for $500 in case they drive it away so my insurance deductible will be met.

Here is my last one, “Wanted, ambitious guy to come to my house and Wash, Wax, and polish my Honda S2000. I have the necessary equipment including a random orbit waxer/polisher. If you don’t have wheels and live fairly close to Durango and hwy 95, I could pick you up, bring you over to my house and then drop you back off at your home after your all done. Please let me know what you would charge to do this job for me.” This one must have been written by a cougar!

I hope you enjoyed “Help Wanted” In fact, after writing this, I have been inspired to take it further, I am not sure where, but it will become part of my life journey

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